Access

Hey guys, long time no talk. I got a promotion and I’ve been beyond busy, but thanks for hanging in there. By now, many of you have read my book. For those of you who know me, you must know that I didn’t do it for the money (that would have been nice though) or the fame. Spoiler alert: there wasn’t any. It’s simple really, I just couldn’t in good conscience let our story die with me. And let’s face it, we all get closer to that eventuality every day. But what encouraged me to randomly start typing out this missive on a Thursday night? Fucking Shonda Rhimes.

As I sit here with a glass of wine and my favorite shows after a particularly hellish day, our progressive Ms. Rhimes has again produced story lines that are uncomfortable, thought-provoking, and even a little scary. Race. The completely fucked up medical system (there’s a scene of Grey’s Anatomy from last season between Amelia and Maggie in the Covid tent that should be mandatory viewing for all human beings). Homelessness. Sexism. All the things that white men claim don’t exist, but actually do, she addresses.

Access. We didn’t all have it. We didn’t all grow up with parents who could guide us in the ways of the world, or who had money, or “knew people.” We made our own way. Some of us are doing OK, mostly through luck, some of us are not. As I ponder a scene with a dying homeless man, who had told all his equally homeless friends that he didn’t want to live on machines, but had no family to advocate for him, no DNR card or bracelet, no lawyer, I think about how a simple thing like access can make or break our whole world. How exactly was he supposed to get those things?

God, I’m so lucky. Literally lucky. Zero access to anything that would help someone get ahead in life. Amazing husband, children, house, and a job that helps us to live comfortably. While I would like to use the whole “pulled myself up by the bootstraps” line, I don’t think that was it. Good people who took us in. Amazing friends. Being white sure didn’t hurt. And luck. I think about how many people we come across on a daily basis that could have done SO MUCH, but just didn’t have the access. That cashier could be a fucking scientific genius. Your waitress could be an amazing musician. Could we just stop judging people who are trying to pay the bills and just be kind? Because you never know if that person just might save your life someday. They just haven’t had the chance to shine yet.